母亲节节日到了。提到妈妈，高频词总绕不开爱、牺牲、做饭、喂奶、操心这类字眼。然而，抛开传统女主内的婴幼儿教育分工和家务劳动，母亲们，在社会建构的母职宏大叙事以外，也可以非常有趣。
一块儿看看其他人家的母亲是什么画风。
1. Because I said so!
由于是我说哒！
2. My mom used to scare me with this one: Put on clean underwear! If you get hit by a bus, all the nurses will see those dirty ones!. Always wondered which situation would have been worse.
我妈以前会如此说来吓唬我：给我穿条干净内裤！不穿的话想想如果你被公交车撞了，护士们就会看到你的脏内裤。 这估计是最糟糕的情况了吧。
3. My mom told me: All you had to do was drink water. Water will be the cure for anything. If your head hurt, if you got a cold, if you are two inches away from dying
我妈跟我说：喝水就好啦。喝水治百病。头疼喝水，感冒喝水，离死亡只差两英寸也
4. Have you lost your cotton-picking mind!
你脑子坏掉啦！
5. If you fall out of that tree and break both legs, dont come running to me.
如果你从树上掉下来摔断两条腿，别跑过来找我。
6. I should have swallowed you!
当初就该把你塞回去！
7. 80% kids will get this one: Dont sit too close to the TV, youll ruin your eyes!
不少孩子儿都听过这句话：离电视远点儿！双眼会搞瞎！
8. You may do whatever you want but not while you are living under my roof.
你想做什么都可以，但只须住在我眼皮子底下一天，就不可以。
9. I was about 9 or 10 when mom told me: Youd better learn to wipe your butt better or do your own laundry. No woman wants to live with a man who has dirty draws.
那时候我才9岁10岁吧，我妈跟我说：你要么掌握擦屁股，要么就自己洗衣服。没什么女性会跟内裤上有粑粑印的男性生活。
10. If I can carry you for 9 months, you can carry those groceries from the car to the house.
我的肚子能驮着你9个月，你就不可以把这类菜从车上搬到家？
11. I wont get mad if you just tell me. That is the biggest lie moms ever say.
你早跟我说，我会生气吗？ 这估计是母亲们最大的谎话。
12. Why do you still live in my house? You are 35.
你为何还住在我家？你35岁啦。
13. Wait until your dad gets home.
等你爸回家有你好看。
14. Wait until you have children.
等你有孩子你就了解了。
15. Dont make me turn this car around! We all know shes not going to turn the car around.
别逼我掉头打道回府！ 其实大家都了解她不会掉头的。
16. Mummys just having grape juice like you are.
和你一样妈咪只不过在喝果汁啦（倒红酒）。
17. Dont you roll your eyes at me! Ill take you out and make another one who looks just like you.
你再敢跟我翻白眼！我把你轰出去然后再生一个跟你长得完全相同的。
18. Mom: Whats my passcode again?
Me: Same as your phone number.
Mom: Whats my phone number again?
妈：我密码是多少来着？
我：你手机号
妈：我手机号是多少来着？
19. Mom: Who did this?
Me: I dont know.
Mom: I didnt ask WHO did it, I am telling you to pick it up!
妈：哪个弄的！
我：我不了解。
妈：我没问你是哪个弄的，我是叫你给我捡起来！
20. I love my children equally. And we all know thats a lie.
我对孩子们同等看待。 其实大家都了解是假的。
21. I brought you into this world and I can TAKE YOU OUT.
我可以把你带到这个世界上，我也可以把你轰出去。
22. You better not ever start a fight. But if someone starts one with you, YOU BETTER FINISH IT!
人不犯你你不犯人，人若犯你你最好给我把TA打趴下。
23. You are beautiful and people will love you. Where are those people momma?
你非常漂亮啦，会有人爱你的 妈妈，这类人在哪？
24. If you dont eat your carrots, you wont be able to see in the dark.
如果你不吃胡萝卜，晚上你就会瞎掉。
25. This isnt a hotel, you know.
家不是酒店，你了解吧。
26. Having to say everything twice, having to say everything twice.
每句话都要说两遍！真的每句话都要说两遍！
27. Close the door. We are not cooling the whole neighborhood.
把门关上！大家不是在给整个街区制冷！
28. If you dont clean the gaps between your toes properly, youll start growing potatoes out of them.
你如果不认认真真洗脚指头中间那块儿，就会有土豆从那儿长出来。
29. Dad is a millionaire in the least worth currency in the world.
你爸其实是个百万富翁以世界上最实惠的货币算。
30. You kids are the reason mommy drinks.
你们这帮熊孩子就是母亲喝酒是什么原因。
